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Top spoon
  • This Spoon Scroll is dedicated to Jim Lotz who, on September 17, 1992, asked what can be done with a spoon …
  1. flatten under steamroller to make aluminum foil
  2. pollywog decoy
  3. conduct orchestra
  4. stick your tongue to on cold day
  5. ukulele pick
  6. scraper for removing gum or mozzarella from shoes
  7. flatten on train track
  8. repair tractor
  9. bend into bracelet or earrings
  10. drumstick
  11. elephant Q-tip
  12. prop open window
  13. bookmark
  14. doorstop wedge
  15. screwdriver
  16. back scratcher
  17. makeshift radio antenna
  18. cat nose tapper
  19. melt to make counterfeit nickels
  20. bend slightly to use as boomerang
  21. dangle from Christmas tree
  22. replace a pirate’s hook
  23. alligator jaw prop
  24. hippopotamus toothpick
  25. tuck into your cap like a feather
  26. teeter-totter fulcrum
  27. scoop caulking out of belly-button
  28. fishing lure, attracts coelacanth
  29. ski for a mole
  30. door knocker
  31. xylophone mallet
  32. replace hammer in piano
  33. set ablaze and swallow at circus
  34. clean toenails
  35. attach to front fork of bicycle to make motor sounds
  36. impale an olive to the top of sandwich
  37. use as centre wedge on a sundial
  38. stick behind ear to tone ear muscles
  39. helicopter rotor
  40. bend for use as clothespeg
  41. bald man’s comb
  42. balance on your nose
  43. write with it
  44. lightning rod
  45. squash soy beans
  46. tie to wear with tuxedo
  47. puddle depth gauge
  48. stake to improve posture of dwarf tomato plants
  49. jam between toes to prevent webbing
  50. candlestick holder
  51. dart
  52. spile for collecting maple sap
  53. spur
  54. popsicle stem
  55. suitcase handle
  56. bend by concentrating
  57. shish kebab skewer
  58. eyelash curler
  59. crochet hook
  60. emergency tricycle spoke
  61. gondola oar
  62. tongue depressor
  63. gearshift
  64. toilet paper dispenser
  65. attach marionette to
  66. javelin for ladybug
  67. stick in beautiful vase and give to someone you love
  68. tent peg
  69. bake in cake and sneak to prisoner
  70. belt buckle
  71. doughnut stand
  72. trace to stencil walls
  73. canary swing
  74. curtain rod for half-moon window in outhouse door
  75. cello bow
  76. letter opener
  77. anchor for paper boat
  78. whack kneecaps to test reflexes
  79. pink rubbery grub bathtub
  80. elf’s snowshoe
  81. jelly bean server
  82. mailbox flag
  83. wind chime
  84. practise scrimshaw
  85. trick mirror distorts your face on concave and convex sides
  86. squeeze under arm to make armpit farts
  87. braid into your hair
  88. stilts for beginners
  89. unit of measurement
  90. dangle from a mobile
  91. knot around fencing to make friendlier barbed wire
  92. brand cows
  93. glue to heads of roosters born without caruncles
  94. skip across a pond
  95. signal ships
  96. leave lying around and wait for a dish to run away with it
  97. bend into horseshoe
  98. camel bit
  99. barrette
  100. the tick or the tock on a grandfather clock
  101. stocking stuffer
  102. figure skate blade
  103. press into a heavy book and keep as memento
  104. paint tiny portraits on
  105. belly button armour
  106. fencing foil
  107. pry lids off manholes
  108. kite string spool
  109. stick in a voodoo doll
  110. drill holes into and use as a pea sieve
  111. bug squasher
  112. wedge in high tree branch to bewilder future archeologists
  113. rear view mirror
  114. twirl like a baton while marching in the next parade
  115. impale the head of an applehead doll on
  116. leave by a fork in the road
  117. makes a prestigious hood ornament on clapped-out Volvo
  118. bell clanger
  119. weather vane
  120. replace the bird with in cuckoo clocks
  121. ping-pong paddle
  122. drop into an aquarium for fish toy
  123. chess piece
  124. arm for spectacles
  125. throw to play fetch with a dog
  126. glue to a block of wood for a trophy
  127. wind Dead Sea Scrolls around
  128. glue perpendicularly to heel of flat dress shoe
  129. pool cue
  130. artificial moustache
  131. judge’s gavel
  132. slide beads onto handle for a pocket abacus
  133. cheese drill
  134. perpetual lollipop
  135. swing to and fro to hypnotize cat
  136. rung on narrow ladder
  137. drop in trick-or-treat sacks
  138. mix watercolours in
  139. tie to the bumper of a newlywed’s car
  140. glue to forehead to ward off evil spirits
  141. grave marker
  142. fence picket
  143. scribble graffiti on
  144. use as a prize in cereal and candied popcorn boxes
  145. stick in a bottle and sell to tourists
  146. baren for printing woodblocks
  147. fill with red coals to iron with
  148. fry bite-size pancakes in
  149. key-chain ornament
  150. toad nest
  151. plant on neighbouring planets
  152. ostrich leg band
  153. scarf tassel
  154. throw at mousetraps to save mice
  155. polish and use as a good-luck charm
  156. parka toggle
  157. chain link
  158. bend to make pair of compasses
  159. cicada litter box
  160. dust pan
  161. tape to spine to prevent slouching
  162. dedicate a sonnet to
  163. toss in rock tumbler
  164. fin keel
  165. magnetize and stick on fridge
  166. carry in bass cello case
  167. lay on floor and sword dance over
  168. twist tie
  169. bend into pretzel
  170. slide under chesterfield legs to protect floors
  171. dipstick
  172. toilet snake
  173. Ouija board pointer
  174. survey stake
  175. shoehorn
  176. signal light lever
  177. place silver one in the mouth of a newborn
  178. training harmonica
  179. weave into a picnic basket
  180. turnstile arm
  181. teething ring
  182. staircase baluster
  183. extract DNA from
  184. bake in a dumpling
  185. knight’s lance
  186. feed to threatening electric eel
  187. make a herringbone pattern
  188. fling in washing machine
  189. spin to select lottery numbers
  190. wear on a necklace with shark teeth
  191. ruler
  192. manual cassette rewinder
  193. chomp down hard on for instant fillings
  194. sock garter
  195. nose ring for a ferocious bull
  196. glue to a cafe table
  197. maypole for ants
  198. zipper tooth
  199. windshield wiper
  200. get a credit card issued to
  201. stick to fly tape as a warning
  202. corncob handle
  203. typewriter lever
  204. cross a “t”
  205. machine tooth
  206. cup hook
  207. kiwi peeler
  208. prosthetic walrus tusk
  209. candle snuffer
  210. bend and stripe to make candycane
  211. shoot from a cannon
  212. stick under nose to revive the freshly fainted
  213. guppy net
  214. corsage
  215. canoe rib
  216. paint military camouflage on
  217. include with fibrefill to stuff pillow
  218. fig dispenser
  219. metronome pendulum
  220. petroglyph
  221. flagstaff
  222. gargoyle
  223. bend in half to make a hacek or circumflex
  224. watch caterpillar build cocoon from
  225. make hologram of for your credit card
  226. photocopy in case of cutlery shortage
  227. hopscotch marker
  228. sneak past Customs
  229. drop in a barrel of water and bob for
  230. study the behaviour of
  231. bend into a Hula-Hoop
  232. buy seat for on flight to Reykjavik
  233. form a peptide bond with
  234. vent your static electricity on
  235. grow lichen on
  236. rivet
  237. garnish a cheesecake
  238. upholster for the verandah
  239. turtle hurdle
  240. scrutinize for hidden meaning
  241. clone
  242. training razor
  243. identify Latin genus and species names
  244. leash and take to obedience classes
  245. bend and divine for soup
  246. commission a portrait of
  247. bequeath a scandalously vast fortune to in your will
  248. give an extravagant, multi-syllable name ending in “the Third”
  249. weaving shuttle
  250. knit a cosy for
  251. bore hole through the centre for spurtle
  252. kiss, make a wish and drop into fountain
  253. collect elastic bands around
  254. start a museum for
  255. stitch inside a soccer ball
  256. artificial uvula
  257. ant scaffolding
  258. take to psychologist
  259. Palaeolithic-era car key
  260. topiary model
  261. twist into a helix and curl flat pasta around for boingy noodles
  262. design into coat-of-arms
  263. feature on postage stamp
  264. remove pith, and poke in holes for a penny whistle
  265. pickle
  266. trowel
  267. toque tassel
  268. engrave Latin motto on using extravagant curlycue script
  269. collect rhymes, synonyms, anagrams and Shakespeare quotes on
  270. drawer pull
  271. plant in jelly salad
  272. juggle
  273. speckle with dots to make microphone
  274. mahlstick
  275. surgical staple
  276. grow bonsai tree in
  277. stick to the gum on your bedpost overnight
  278. puppet
  279. polish to conjure a jinni
  280. stare at until you have an epiphany
  281. sharpen edge for wood gouge
  282. door bolt
  283. paperclip
  284. hide in over-stuffed settee
  285. attach balsa-wood wings to and launch off parapet
  286. dewlap brace
  287. circuit-breaker lever
  288. hyphen
  289. map the migration routes of
  290. give to crow or raccoon who enjoy collecting shiny objects
  291. railway spike
  292. notch the top for spindle
  293. replace a pea under stack of mattresses to detect princesses
  294. early paisley prototype
  295. place over Adam’s apple at night to deter vampires
  296. trade for prominent landmark
  297. debate how many angels can fit into one
  298. study evolution of
  299. windmill sail
  300. unicycle mudflap
  301. lease to a violet bower bird
  302. large format film spool
  303. bicycle-wheel spoke reflector
  304. giraffe ear-tag
  305. lacrosse stick
  306. bend into treble clef
  307. genetically manipulate to make Swiss-Army knife
  308. play a flute and charm from a jug
  309. determine chemical formula of
  310. pulverize and sprinkle on porridge
  311. set on the Periodic Table
  312. hang over doorway and eat plum pudding under
  313. wear inside orthopaedic shoes to correct fallen arches
  314. throw in bathtub to determine its volume
  315. map its parabola
  316. feature in whimsical hairdo
  317. raffle off
  318. merry-go-round ride
  319. vacuum-cleaner attachment
  320. grow barnacles on
  321. secure to a bungee cord and drop from a precipice
  322. sneak into exam with answers recorded on it in nail polish
  323. suspend in jar of sugar water and watch crystals grow on it
  324. attach with jingling breadtags and bottle caps for tambourine
  325. mince, season, and fill a segment of sheep intestine
  326. sheriff’s badge
  327. petition governments to declare International Year for
  328. exclamation mark
  329. shave off thin strands for Christmas tree tinsel
  330. marinade in curds and whey
  331. road sign pictogram
  332. vaccinate against spoonerisms
  333. practise taxidermy on
  334. glue nutmeg onto for a mace
  335. have astrologer write its horoscope
  336. graft onto stem of grapefruit tree
  337. brooch to pin on favourite cardigan
  338. toss new one into active volcano
  339. read Proust to
  340. gudgeon pin
  341. wallpaper to match tablecloth
  342. finial
  343. cultivate phobia of
  344. feeler gauge
  345. base typeface design on
  346. thwart termites with
  347. send for radiocarbon dating
  348. grease
  349. hide in wildlife diorama
  350. measure with an inchworm and convert to metric
  351. radio-collar and release back into wild
  352. place in wind tunnel to study its aerodynamics
  353. melt into stainless steel ingots
  354. slide rule
  355. spatula
  356. zig-zag its edges to perforate postage stamps and soda crackers
  357. set on drumlin for dragonflies to carry off
  358. drop in Lake Baikal and retrieve by echolocation
  359. collect the word “spoon” in every language, even Esperanto
  360. plant at summit of Leibnitz Mountains
  361. register as trademark
  362. leave in dentist’s autoclave
  363. fortify with vitamin C
  364. keep locked in safe, use only on ceremonial occasions
  365. vade mecum
  366. scythe
  367. toboggan brake
  368. pinata
  369. bend into horseshoe for emergency false teeth
  370. take cuttings from to propagate
  371. Morse code tapper
  372. hair curler
  373. hobbyhorse
  374. tie clasp
  375. hatch sea monkeys in
  376. tie string bow around as reminder of something forgotten
  377. ice pick
  378. snowman nose
  379. tune an armadillo
  380. shred to make glitter
  381. tape to the inside rib of tyrannosaurus rex
  382. conduct litmus test on
  383. add to concoction of hotchpotch
  384. defibrillator paddle
  385. tundra tree toad live trap
  386. place in snow orb
  387. paste to suet ball
  388. wristwatch
  389. petri dish
  390. move by telekinesis
  391. duplicate in silkscreen and call it Art
  392. embroider onto knight’s pennon
  393. place on vacant theatre seat beside bulb of garlic
  394. exorcise of poltergeists
  395. assess for taxation purposes
  396. false keel
  397. whittle into oblivion
  398. carnival prize
  399. rasp for the timid
  400. jiggermast
  401. study for doctorate
  402. handshake with
  403. attempt to patent
  404. study under electron microscope and identify its fauna
  405. solar panel
  406. carbonize and draw with
  407. catfish barbel
  408. take official census of
  409. project alter ego onto
  410. chart alpha rhythm
  411. curio
  412. play in stainless steel band
  413. sardine tin key
  414. periscope mirror
  415. tousle Persian cats with
  416. trade on the stock exchange
  417. document mutations
  418. isolate the cutlery pheromone
  419. fling at troupe of minstrels
  420. take to metallurgist
  421. bounce off a trampoline
  422. snap open fortune cookie for
  423. bewilder sasquatch with
  424. coil to bind notebook
  425. acorn cupule
  426. standard monetary unit
  427. barter for a currant bun
  428. hammer into shingle
  429. cut into tiny gems
  430. maroon in Vankoughnet
  431. purchase at jumble sale
  432. give to pernickety mime
  433. mangle in compactor
  434. pudding skin skimmer
  435. delouse
  436. tenderize tough bananas
  437. lasso
  438. a tip for an order of soft-boiled egg
  439. sock away
  440. kiln-dry
  441. entrust to a marsupial
  442. demitasse
  443. toy bone for lap dog
  444. earflap
  445. flying buttress
  446. twang
  447. draw reasonable facsimile of and take to banquet
  448. spin the globe on
  449. write biography of
  450. determine its degrees latitude and longitude
  451. lint trap in a clothes dryer
  452. plant in humusy soil and collect mycelium to use as steel wool
  453. study reaction of chickens to
  454. clench between teeth while dancing the tango
  455. boardwalk slat
  456. catalogue and assign Dewey Decimal number to
  457. anti-snore device
  458. insure against theft
  459. affix training wheels to and tow behind bicycle
  460. jinx
  461. determine Universal Transverse Mercator co-ordinates
  462. melt to form ball bearings
  463. skeet
  464. attach marshmallows to for extra buoyancy
  465. stick to a marmalade tree
  466. drop in the token box at the ferry terminal
  467. bed spring
  468. toss in particle accelerator
  469. tip over dozing cows with
  470. watch forces of Nature erode in time-lapse photography
  471. measure lustre
  472. add candycane stripes and accordion pleat to make straw
  473. fold into an origami platypus
  474. extract the essence of and bottle as a perfume
  475. nominate for the Turner Prize
  476. grant a peerage to
  477. invent proverbs about
  478. apply the Pythagorean theorem to
  479. defenestrate
  480. issue a factory recall of all plastic ones
  481. fractional currency
  482. channel the spirit of Descartes through
  483. glue candy foil mosaic to
  484. lend to tailless skink
  485. poke whole cloves into and dangle from fancy ribbon
  486. proboscis clamp
  487. toss amid fungi to acquire bioluminescence
  488. banish from Continent
  489. gumdrop mould
  490. dig for spoon fragments at archaeological sites
  491. trilobite display stand
  492. anaesthetize against accidental biting
  493. modify slightly for nose flute
  494. practise alchemy on
  495. gild with molten liquorice
  496. karate-chop in half
  497. use for imprinting orphan ducklings
  498. draw cross-section of
  499. mullion
  500. attach to Canadarm
  501. telegraph pole insulator
  502. toss in dye vat as mordant
  503. reduce to pemmican under Sahara sun
  504. bend into isosceles triangle
  505. swing against bow of new tea clipper to christen the ship
  506. write book about the natural history of
  507. add a suction-cup and use as a toilet plunger
  508. practise ventriloquism with
  509. abbreviated pterodactyl perch
  510. hammer stem into hexagon, bend, use as allen wrench
  511. paint in trompe-l’oeil in bottom of cutlery drawer
  512. contact lens mould
  513. tickle funny bone
  514. snowflea springboard
  515. dowry
  516. tie to string, switch with the leashed pen at bank
  517. weld to no-stick frying pan
  518. set on car manifold
  519. hide in spine-yawn of a large hardcover poetry anthology
  520. map a constellation resembling one
  521. desiccate and use onboard spaceship
  522. salt stainless steel mine with
  523. grate into filings, sprinkle on icy steps
  524. bicyclists trouser-leg clip
  525. sleepy-bug and toe-jam scoop
  526. directional arrow on road signs
  527. talisman
  528. parang
  529. add arms for paper doll template
  530. inaugurate a horse race: The Queen’s Spoon
  531. cannibalize for spare parts
  532. howdah pinnacle
  533. twirl between toes to improve toe dexterity
  534. join a prospector panning for spoons
  535. cover witha tarpaulin, leave in backyard
  536. toilet tank flapper
  537. bake a bent one into croissant
  538. reintroduce to the Galapagos Islands
  539. mortarboard tassel
  540. cantilevered chair prop
  541. fuse into millefiore glass
  542. attach one to each end of long cord, dangle from cuffs
  543. plant in window box to grow soup ladle
  544. implant microchip in, monitor on radar
  545. cuff link
  546. hurl in opposite direction of picnic to fool ants
  547. drop down a badger’s hole
  548. Venetian blind slat
  549. newel post
  550. name rock-band after
  551. can-opener
  552. see in Rorschach ink-blot tests
  553. picture frame
  554. potters rib
  555. tightrope walker’s balance pole
  556. splint
  557. skipping rope handle
  558. guardrail
  559. zipper pull
  560. pencil case stretcher
  561. spoonbill duck mandible
  562. archive on microfilm
  563. convert mass into spoons from pounds, kilograms or stones
  564. manufacture edible ones
  565. note its use in Art
  566. place in centre of labyrinth to sober-up the minotaur
  567. one piece letter “i”
  568. early musical note
  569. Thailand bumblebee bat bath
  570. shallow finger bowl
  571. lawnmower blade
  572. tiara
  573. polish to gleaming with horsetails
  574. watch it sublime into a gas
  575. induction coil
  576. study different methods of operating
  577. apply the three laws of thermodynamics to
  578. tuck in box of etceteras
  579. chop to bits for jigsaw puzzle
  580. forceps
  581. saddlebow
  582. track shoe spike
  583. put whittlings in dried, hollow gourd for a rattle
  584. bent into love knot
  585. pivot bridge
  586. wimble
  587. beetle coffin
  588. yoga position
  589. smash a geode in a sock with
  590. walking stick
  591. cushion in hotdog bun for shipping
  592. billy club
  593. chipmunk dumbbell
  594. seek appraisal from snooty auction-house
  595. make motor noises, pretend it’s a steam-shovel
  596. splice two together, end to end, for kayak paddle
  597. whittle into surgical dental instruments
  598. flambe with kohlrabi
  599. crazy carpet ID tag
  600. endure with good grace in lieu of fork
  601. riding crop
  602. rap on walls at midnight on full moon
  603. circulate posters of lost ones
  604. thumbtack
  605. refrain from underestimating
  606. extrapolate into a fire tower
  607. arrange atop tide tables
  608. conjure a ghost spoon at a seance
  609. bicycle tire iron
  610. summon for jury duty
  611. hammer into pie pan
  612. attach to toy tractor, plough furrows in window boxes
  613. failed frisbee prototype
  614. robotize and introduce to school of migrating smelt
  615. sell for scrap metal
  616. trip fleeing bank robber with
  617. crimp to make accordion
  618. toothbrush
  619. gastronomic idol
  620. vulcanize
  621. evaluate role in kitchen kitsch
  622. collect toenail parings in
  623. adopt the plural as new expletive, “Spoons!”
  624. offering to the Muses
  625. sail along eavestroughs, lose in downspout
  626. gentleman’s pipe
  627. spin off swivel chair, study centrifugal force
  628. slip in ballot box
  629. fishing rod
  630. drop down manholes to determine depth
  631. request through interlibrary loan
  632. smile widener
  633. piano key
  634. hand-me-down
  635. scoop poetry from hellbox
  636. foil kleptomaniacs by buying it for them
  637. form eleven into hendecagon
  638. open a dossier on
  639. ski pole
  640. rubber raft fender
  641. fiddle pattern
  642. transmute into gold
  643. propel into orbit
  644. take a daguerreotype of
  645. squash to make flatware
  646. tattoo on arm
  647. stretch to fake a Modigliani sculpture
  648. promote to senior management
  649. designate as umbelliferous
  650. trade for musketeer’s musket
  651. explain philosophically
  652. ponder in diary about
  653. sneeze deflector
  654. hockey stick
  655. peer through telescope, look for spoon nebula
  656. picture hook
  657. examine for clues
  658. spoon-and-groove joint
  659. give to your favourite sesquipedalian speaker
  660. tailpiece
  661. tooth fairy wand
  662. stock vending machines with
  663. miniature golf club
  664. invent Sphinx-baffling riddles about
  665. reinforce beaver dam with rustproof extras
  666. discover its etymological roots
  667. consolation prize for people who were close but got no cigar
  668. explain significance of to delinquent chickens
  669. festoon with ribbons, enter as Fall Fair exhibit
  670. practise making citizens arrests on
  671. trick Venus flytraps into biting
  672. return for recycling where facilities exist
  673. symbol of gluttony
  674. hold for ransom
  675. pastellist’s tortillon
  676. whale fluke
  677. hide in the fluting of column at Parthenon
  678. trailer hitch
  679. climb in a hot-air balloon clutching a dachshund and a spoon
  680. record its harmonic vibration
  681. count spoons during bouts of insomnia
  682. soldering iron
  683. enumerate the ones in your neighbourhood
  684. carry a spare in your backpack
  685. bounce yodel echoes off
  686. pierce holes in for bubble wand
  687. glue atop onion dome
  688. surfboard
  689. use folding one on camping expeditions
  690. spare rib
  691. gate latch
  692. door knob
  693. preserve significant historical specimens
  694. melt to evoke surrealism
  695. thatch roof
  696. charm bracelet ornament
  697. sandal thong
  698. collect from ancient shipwrecks
  699. invent spoon-lift trucks
  700. attach as many helium-filled balloons as will lift it
  701. farm harrow
  702. photograph in spoondrift
  703. knee or elbow brace
  704. hat brim
  705. start internet chat group about
  706. hire agent for
  707. play solo in a junk band
  708. reluctantly toss into highwayman’s booty sack
  709. assign pseudonym to
  710. tortoise bumper
  711. modern cattail
  712. imitate in game of charades
  713. Bactrain camel tail bow
  714. quantify at laboratory
  715. list logogriphs
  716. export to the Sandwich Islands
  717. obtain the runcible variety
  718. manacle for narrow-wristed crooks
  719. nominate as the Eighth Wonder of the World
  720. don boxing gloves and pummel
  721. frame and hang in vestibule
  722. leave in a swamp until soft and moist and squashy
  723. order from comic book advertisement
  724. design costumes for
  725. fling into a fracas to perplex quarrellers
  726. magically snatch from the ear of egghead
  727. plant with carrots to confuse rabbits
  728. peddle door-to-door
  729. apply for scholarships on behalf of
  730. fireproof kindling
  731. trade-in for used caravan
  732. develop an allergy against
  733. wrap in burlap for winter
  734. compost
  735. predict its extinction due to virtual, computer-generated ones
  736. twist into twine
  737. count soup rings to estimate age
  738. take printed spoon to a wayzgoose
  739. running board
  740. paperweight
  741. stick in pegboard
  742. collateral for bank loan
  743. etch cereal number into breakfast spoon
  744. small sword
  745. study its pneuma
  746. raisinize and toss in bag of dried soup
  747. trace it to the cause of dialects
  748. elect to district council
  749. seek custody of in divorce settlement
  750. note whether it casts shadow February second
  751. make documentary film about
  752. hail taxi with
  753. take out membership in steelworkers union for
  754. acknowledge in a footnote
  755. bowsprit
  756. claw of a hippogryph
  757. gulper eel fin
  758. study spoon tectonics
  759. sew hat from its pelt
  760. buy grandiose specimens from thrift shops
  761. drain muskeg with
  762. shoe an ungulate
  763. baseball bat
  764. hacksaw
  765. abandon in fernery
  766. shift its paradigm
  767. twist into ampersand
  768. motorboat propeller
  769. domesticate wild ones
  770. mummify
  771. protect from poachers
  772. bagel sabre
  773. goal post
  774. external ear
  775. chart its circadian rhythm
  776. katydid feeder
  777. communicate with telepathically
  778. hitchhike thumb
  779. hibernate with a spoon and jar of honey
  780. throw and observe Doppler effect
  781. wrap around tree to discourage beavers
  782. ha-ha bridge
  783. wave at spectator sport
  784. unveil at opening of new restaurant
  785. add vinegar to see if it curdles
  786. pie chart pointer
  787. qoph
  788. address using nobiliary particle
  789. paint chartreuse green for forage
  790. slip in Pandora’s box
  791. drop in gingerale, make effervescent
  792. locate on food chain
  793. make a macrame spoon-holder
  794. catalogue spoon iconography in various art movements
  795. offer rewards to finders of lost ones
  796. play classical music to
  797. collect rainwater in
  798. toupee
  799. starch floppy spoons
  800. hat stand
  801. race car spoiler
  802. dry on clothesline
  803. swap for Richard the Third’s kingdom
  804. pocket-size banjo
  805. bicycle pedal
  806. outline with neon lights
  807. incorporate in wordmark
  808. rocket fin
  809. express juice from
  810. electrify for an insect-zapper
  811. book-page smoother
  812. stitch onto patchwork blanket
  813. seal in time capsule
  814. lob through a basketball hoop
  815. pop wheelies over
  816. draw in isometric perspective
  817. corset rib
  818. forge an imitation
  819. build one from bunched-up gum foil wrappers
  820. authenticate
  821. wedge under tire for emergency brake
  822. roof rack
  823. pothole filler
  824. log cabin chinking
  825. mortar or pestle
  826. covered bridge toll
  827. tuning spoon
  828. stingray stinger
  829. package together with Snake Oil Remedy
  830. railway sleeper
  831. spade
  832. butter-churn blade
  833. gaze at while ruminating
  834. take to garage for Spring tune-up
  835. forecast weather by observing
  836. ruling pen
  837. weld two together, bend for cool-dude sunglasses
  838. battering ram
  839. passively resist inclination to use
  840. toast, spice, and cube stale ones into croutons
  841. identify its petiole
  842. rush to Klondike in search of
  843. drop in aquarium with a spoonhead muddler
  844. snaggletooth file
  845. sell at a kiosk
  846. adopt from lost-and-found boxes
  847. induct in Dining Hall of Fame
  848. use upsidedown while in a headstand
  849. grocery store speed bump
  850. pilfer from a pelican’s pouch
  851. pillar to prop up sagging applesauce tree limbs
  852. indent margarine
  853. handspike
  854. jam a nut
  855. rustproof and wind saltwater taffy around
  856. play catch with
  857. collect from ground after rainstorm
  858. convert to spy camera
  859. develop tiny photographs in
  860. roof ridge-pole
  861. take to school for show-and-tell
  862. set saucers of beer in garden to lure them, protect vegetables
  863. horologist’s loupe
  864. typewriter type bar
  865. sprinkle salt on ones clinging to you after swimming
  866. compete in spoon-shining contests
  867. grader blade
  868. jewellery box ballerina
  869. introduce rogue pattern spoon into your set
  870. set beside home plate
  871. attach feathers for badminton shuttlecock
  872. study its role in ecosystem
  873. name a dude ranch after quantity of
  874. bend into tangents and follow
  875. mail order from Upper Musquodoboit
  876. chisel out a spoon megalith
  877. assemble several in snowflake pattern
  878. embed in cobblestone path
  879. shrink-wrap
  880. circulate petition protesting against
  881. honorarium
  882. hunt for hermetically sealed ones in abandoned Diefenbunkers
  883. issue graduated operators licences for
  884. cast in cameo role
  885. shtick in comedian’s routine
  886. write monograph on spoon etiquette
  887. stack to see how high a tower you can build
  888. knee dimple iron
  889. look for its shape in clouds
  890. confiscate unregistered ones
  891. strum harp
  892. only eat gunk from tubes and render obsolete
  893. reconstitute petrified spoons
  894. depict on picture postcard against sunset
  895. salute with
  896. start spoon craze
  897. teach homing pigeons to carry
  898. dip needle
  899. send old ones to the knackers for mucilage
  900. talk to and keep train seat beside you empty
  901. dump in orbit, contribute to space litter
  902. record player arm
  903. fill a goldfish bowl with, leave on candy shop counter
  904. sew in a bag, steep in pot of hot water for five minutes
  905. become a spoon repair and maintenance technician
  906. calibrate its sways and bends with Beaufort Wind Scale
  907. learn Heimlich manoeuvre to save people gagging on them
  908. pot and bring to a horticultural society meeting
  909. composing stick
  910. hunt for lucky four-bowled ones
  911. attach curlycue to end for a telephone receiver
  912. hang over doorway, kiss under at Christmas
  913. paint your house number on
  914. weld extras into a trellis
  915. sprint relay baton
  916. emphasize your argument with
  917. tail gate
  918. drill holes in, use in Meccano set
  919. stick in the mud
  920. catalogue spoon trends
  921. hatband
  922. piston rod
  923. sash weight
  924. rename the Iron Age the Spoon Age
  925. reinforcing strut on Eiffel Tower
  926. brandish to fight off rabid pygmy shrews
  927. skillet
  928. peace offering
  929. inspect for notch effect
  930. add bristles for bottlebrush
  931. fan
  932. purfle
  933. speed up to catch fast food
  934. shoulder pad
  935. spin on flat surface to make asterisk
  936. ski lift towbar
  937. collect auriferous spoons
  938. wave to surrender
  939. wreck cat’s cradle string tricks
  940. index references to in fairy tales
  941. identify the inventor of
  942. tickle tapirs
  943. revert to using fingers and avoid carpal tunnel syndrome
  944. gather a googol of
  945. calculate joules expended to move empty one seven paces
  946. make double-ended spoons for twins
  947. clam pry
  948. only use preshrunk spoons
  949. cultivate as root crop
  950. admire patina
  951. separate into component parts
  952. pointer in menu-driven computer flatware
  953. determine yield stress
  954. tour spoon factories
  955. play a triangle
  956. sconce
  957. impress in wax to prove ownership if robbed
  958. take lessons in imperturbability from
  959. bound two together for cupcake tongs
  960. grappling hook
  961. quality-grade
  962. pogo stick
  963. scour seashore for at low tide
  964. knurl for better grip
  965. table-turning pivot
  966. create sound effects
  967. paradrop into remote and spoonless mountainous regions
  968. base a new ology on
  969. paint-by-numbers
  970. arrange different sizes for percussion instrument
  971. locomotive drawbar
  972. name river after
  973. highway dash in diner districts
  974. infuse with minty breath freshener
  975. pause a yawn
  976. render high-tech by complicating and making less reliable
  977. rolling pin
  978. mountain bike handlebar
  979. secure to waistcoat with watch chain
  980. bore holes through for shower bath head
  981. dock cleat
  982. shelf bracket
  983. practise arm-wrestling
  984. fancy drinking glass stem
  985. gallipot
  986. hand pump handle
  987. golf tee
  988. catamaran hull
  989. stamp silhouette on dollar coin with aquatic background
  990. cactus spine
  991. stegosaurus tail spear
  992. downpipe leaf strainer
  993. cut holes in for Swiss cheese server
  994. gable vent
  995. toss in a whirlpool, observe Coriolis effect
  996. handrail
  997. tire lug wrench
  998. crampon
  999. pole vault over chasms swarming with crocodiles
  1000. fling at flying saucers
  1001. tiger tail tourniquet
  1002. pluck from the remainder bin
  1003. towel rack
  1004. separate groceries on check-out conveyor belt
  1005. celery stick placebo
  1006. tuck in trouser turn ups
  1007. clamp a trio into camera tripod
  1008. washing machine agitator
  1009. place on shoulder of apprentice pirate as parrot practice
  1010. big toe clog
  1011. orient all pointing to magnetic North Pole
  1012. carve from clinkstone
  1013. spare femur
  1014. oilcup
  1015. spittlebug spittoon
  1016. make a plaster cast of its tracks
  1017. dissect in biology class
  1018. Dalmatian, Appaloosa, leopard polka-dot burnisher
  1019. applaud with at the opera
  1020. nose tweaker
  1021. with pulleys and dental floss rig up spoon-wielding spook
  1022. stealthily mow spoon outlines in oat fields
  1023. be circumspect around, backwards they’re all snoops
  1024. scrape bottom of barrel
  • FINIS
    © 1992-2004
    by Lorrie Szekat
Bottom spoon

The earliest toads lived 150 million years ago, with fossils dating back to the Jurassic period. That was long before people were invented. Respect your elders.

A herd of toads is properly called a “knot” of toads.

Fox Meadow ad

Fox Meadow Books is a custom book design house based in Sault Ste. Marie, Ontario.

Fox Meadow has gained a reputation for creating visually pleasing, intellectually rewarding books. They print only on acid-free paper, and as much as possible specify stock that is recycled and produced in an environmentally friendly manner.

In this age of mass-produced non-books full of fluff, it is important to support publishers committed to intellectual integrity. Good for the mind, good for the environment.

Lorrie invites you to hop over to the Fox Meadow Books website and explore!

Fox kit photograph by Diane Biggs

 

 

A Light Snack

by Twadnoi Gink

Under the moon-cool, plum-blue leaves it glowed,
A soft tiny plump toad.
A toad-smile blinking through bumpy skin,
Eerily lit within.
Out of a reckless phosphorescent sigh,
Escaped the undigested firefly.

Twadnoi Gink hails from a family of minstrels and wandering microbiologists, and has kindly granted exclusive permission for this poem to appear on the Winking Toad website. Thanks, Twadnoi!

 

My Very Own: Poems of Childhood

by John Cumberland, art by Lorrie Szekat

My Very Own front coverA collection of childhood verse reminiscent, one reviewer noted, of A.A. Milne’s Winnie-the-Pooh poems.

The publisher kindly gave Lorrie a box of these books. You can get a copy from her, or special-order it from your favourite bookshop.

Published in 2001 by Copper Beech Publishing
46 pages, soft cover, black-and-white drawings, ISBN 0-9688573-0-2,
price $9.95 (Canadian$)
 

horse and milk picture

 

Jamie Anderson Wouldn’t …

by Carol Meredith, art by Lorrie Szekat

Jamie Anderson wouldn't front coverMeet a little boy who inexplicably refuses to budge from bed for an entire week … find out why!

Published in 1998 by Annick Press, Toronto
24 pages, full-colour illustrations
ISBN 1-55037-456-7 (soft cover)
ISBN 1-55037-457-5 (hard cover with Lorrie’s “Dessert Dive” endpapers)

cat typing

This book is widely available through both traditional and cyber bookshops.

 

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© 2002-2009 by Lorrie Szekat. All text and images (including workmark) on this site are created and copyright by Lorrie Szekat, and cannot be used without permission. For licensing and purchasing information, send an e-mail to lorrie@winkingtoad.com.